when the moons hits your eye like a big pizza pie....

I so much want to be so more. I want to really have my eyes and arms and heart wide open.

where is my motivation?
where is my positivity?
where is my strength?
where is my joy?

it is in God. it is in God. it is in God. why do I need to keep reminding myself?

maybe because when it is me who is doing the reminding i will never get anywhere. I will keep going around in circles.

stupid pride and selfishness.




sometimes i really want people to read this, and other times... not so much. maybe they need to see?


I think I am afraid for people to see because I put up such a good show. But really, I am not hip. I am not cool. I am not as confident as I seem sometimes. I am pretty down.
I just want to be more.

there it is again.

more.
why more?
why not less?
didn't Jesus make himself less?
why can't I?

Are you telling me something Lord?

i get really jealous sometimes. and angry. and hurt. and envious.
i feel that way right now.

please pray.

I am the comfortable, secure, definition of this western world. And I have perfected the scenes, even I believe I’m above saving, and I’ll never let you see. I am the broken, I am the bruised, I am the ruins, and I have been used. It takes me falling to the ground to admit to fully needing you. Then when I’m breathing my last breath, come and save me, I will cry to you, 'cause pride has not, let me say. And I am the broken, I am the bruised, I am the ruins, and I have been used. Oh, why does it take so much to bring me to my knees. Oh why does it take so much pain from me to see His strength is only found when I am on knees. Why is it so hard to show when I am weak.

And I am the broken, I am the bruised, I am the ruins, And I have been used.

-"Song for the Broken" - BG

this is me. i am broken. please piece me back together, Lord.

weddings are an amazing thing from the Lord. i was in my first wedding this weekend. i got the dress, the hair, the makeup and the flowers; the whole bit. the dress was so pretty and the flowers were amazing.

but there was so much more than that.

at a wedding, there are two people joined by a God-given institution to make them one. there is indeterminable love, indescribable joy, laughter, tears and friendship. you see people talking with people they may not usually talk to, people joking and smiling.

thank you God for love. for marriage.

secrets.

everyone has them. some are silly, some are not.

secretly, i want to be a rockstar.

secretly, i get jealous. alot. for no good reason.

see?